This post will offend some people.

I'm not kidding.

So, if you don't want to be offended by how I feel / my opinion, I suggest you quit reading.

This post involves the suicide of a 14 year old girl in my town, and I am not holding back because I'm a little outraged. However, not the kind of "outraged" you're thinking. So that's why I suggest not reading, because it's going to be harsh, and it's going to be mean, and it's going to be coming from my heart.

This girl was only 14 years old. I won't go into details about how she committed suicide, but suffice it to say her mother found her. To me, this is just sad. It's so sad. I can't imagine my mother having to find me or my sister dead of our own accord. It would kill her - she would die from heartbreak. I also can't imagine my dad doing this either. It makes me feel very sick. I am sad for her mother and friends.

This is where it gets a little nasty.

First of all, I would like to point out that I am a realist, or pragmatist. I see things as they are. I am extremely practical. I am not one who sees abstractions. Yes, I watch Disney channel, but that's my escape. When something real is happening, I am one to take a real approach. I'm not floating around in la-la land. And I'll tell it like it is.

Here is what I think about this situation:
-It's very sad that this girl was sad enough to end her own life. However, she was 14 years old. She hadn't even lived long enough to have a life, or know what life really is. She might as well have not been born at all, the way I see it.
-Apparently she was bullied at school, her mom didn't have time for her, her dad was out of the picture, and she had a crappy boyfriend. So, ending your life seems like the best option? If you are sad, talk to someone. I can't stress it enough. Don't talk to the boy, find a teacher or an adult to speak to, and rely on your friends.
-Selfish. Absolutely selfish. Look at the people she's hurt. Look at all the other lives she's ruined because she chose to kill herself. I have no sympathy for her. I feel so awful for her mother and her friends. But I don't feel for her. I'm not sad that she was sad. She doesn't know what sadness is.
-I'm sad for my neighbor. He knew the girl (they were in the same graduating class), and I saw him yesterday and he was visibly upset. I used to babysit this boy when I was his age, and he was all of 4 years old. So to see him hurting from a tragedy and growing up having to know that a girl was selfish enough to kill herself kills me inside.
-If this was a call for attention, not only will she never know how many people attended her funeral, but she also will be forgotten in 10 years. "Oh, right, that girl. She was in our class. Right..."
-Now, her childhood friends will see her as a sad, "lonely" girl who couldn't make herself happy with the things around her. In 10 years, she'll just be seen as stupid. Because oh, the places she could have gone, the things she could have seen, the people she could have met. Squandered.

I find suicide to be a coward's way out. It's selfish and stupid. It really is stupid. And when you're that young it just seems inappropriate. I've never been affected by a tragedy like that (other than natural deaths), so I may not "know" what these people are going through. But I don't believe that suicide is God's natural plan. You are choosing to end your own life, God isn't choosing for you. You aren't an angel sitting up in heaven with him. He didn't call you back to Heaven. If anything, he called you back there to ask why you were such an idiot.

I don't condone her actions and I would never do something to hurt the people around me like that. Because now, they have to live with the fact that she will never be back, and they can't do anything about it because she was so selfish she didn't care what they thought.