Dancing with the Stars - Week 5

GOD BLESS AMURIKA

Well, according to DTWS, anyway.

This week was "Celebrate America" week. It was good, but nothing like Classical week, which tops the charts so far as "Best Week Ever" on this show.

This week, I won't be ranking. I wanted to do something clever, like "Most Unique Dance", but that would have gone to Ralph Macchio, and he wasn't one of my favorites. I felt very bad for him, just because they gave him the worst song ever to do a samba to. Who was thinking that a cowboy-themed samba to "Sweet Home Alabama" was a good idea? Everyone else had songs that were close enough for government work, but they didn't have to mix cultures. It was terribly awkward.

So instead, I will once again pick my three favorite dances of the night.

For the first time ever, Romeo and Chelsie make an appearance.

Romeo and Chelsie Hightower - Foxtrot to "New York, New York" by Frank Sinatra

This absolutely, 100% goes to show that song selection is everything. If this had been to any other song, I probably would have hated it. But he connected with this song. He showed emotion, he wasn't off in space, he was working it. And in the package (not in this video; this is actually his encore performance on Tuesday night) he said he wanted to keep his swagger. He really did, but made it flow smoothly and it was like a dream. Excellent job!

Here we have a repeater: Chris and Cheryl!

Chris Jericho and Cheryl Burke - Viennese Waltz to "America the Beautiful" by Katharine Lee Bates

Are people just noticing now that he's a fantastic dancer? Dear Cheryl: your outfit is a little inappropriate for Viennese Waltz but what the hey. I thought this was lovely. Nothing else to say.

And of course my favorite couple... Chelsea and Mark. I can't help it.

Chelsea Kane and Mark Ballas - Samba to "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus

Dear Chelsea: Something about your pants just isn't suiting. They are way too low and you look uncomfortable. Otherwise I loved this. It had flavor and pizazz. Mark kept it traditional which I am happy about, but he did seem to be dancing slower than she was. Maybe that's just me. She looked so excited to be dancing and he kept it cool. Maybe because he is the professional dancer. But also, we want all eyes to be on the star, so I don't know what he did but I kind of forgot he was there. Kudos!

Eagerly anticipating next week... I wonder what dances will be done!

Also I am a little sad to see Petra gone (well mostly just Dmitry) when I see Kirstie Alley dancing the way she does. I mean I don't know what that was. I really don't. A mess, mostly. Thank God I was distracted by the shirtless, pleather-donned Ukranian dancing with her. Can Maksim get any more attractive.